Did you know that February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month? Why has Congress set aside the month of February to focus on teen dating violence? Here are some statistics to answer that question:
One in three teens is the victim of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner
Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence
Violent behavior often begins between the ages of 12 and 18
57% of college students say dating violence is difficult to identify and 58% say they don’t know how to help someone who’s experiencing it.
Only 33% of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about the abuse.
Eighty one percent of parents believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know if it’s an issue.
(all statistics from teendvmonth.org)
So, what is dating abuse and why should we care? Dating abuse includes any behavior by a dating partner that is used to manipulate, gain power and control, make a person feel bad about him/herself, or make a person afraid of their dating partner. Victims of dating violence are at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence. Abusive behaviors include the following:
Emotional Abuse (ignoring partner’s feelings and beliefs, acting in an intimidating way, name calling, isolating partners from family and friends, damaging partner’s property, telling lies, threatening to hurt oneself, etc.)
Sexual Abuse (forcing partner to have sex, forcing a partner to do sexual things he/she doesn’t want to do)
Some people, particularly adolescents, also use cell phones, email, instant messaging, and social networking sites to send insults, show private or intimate pictures of partners, monitor the activities or location of partners, or spread rumors about partners.
Most relationships don’t begin with abusive behaviors. They usually start with good emotions making the person feel loved, connected, and special. Most victims never expect the violence that eventually comes because it starts very slowly and in subtle ways. Here are ten signs that a relationship is abusive:
Isolation (keeping partner from spending time with friends or family)
Jealousy
Possessiveness
Double standards (person has different rules for their partner than for him/herself)
Name Calling
Controlling Behavior
Threats of Self-Harm
Playing Rough
Non-consensual Sex
Violence
Why would someone stay in an abusive relationship? There are many reasons why people decide to stay in relationships including: they are in love, they think the abusive partner will change, they blame themselves, they want to help the abusive partner, they don’t think anyone will believe them or they are embarrassed and afraid of being judged.
How you can help a friend who is in an abusive relationship? Here are some tips:
Believe the story – listen, acknowledge their feelings, and let your friend know that they are not alone
Don’t gossip
Tell the person that he or she didn’t deserve to be abused
Let the person make their own decisions – don’t try to force them to end their relationship, encourage them to tell a parent or trusted adult, support them
There are many organizations and people that can help people who are involved in abusive dating relationships. Schools and colleges have counselors and social workers who are able to help and support people who need it. Each of our three counties also has an agency dedicated to the issue of relationship abuse:
If you've ever seen me in your health class, I guarantee you that you've heard me talk about this! Rub your hands together. What do you feel? Heat and friction. Using two condoms at the same time is not a good idea as the friction of them rubbing together may result in one or both of the condoms breaking. If you're trying to be extra careful, it is better to use another form of contraception with a condom. For example, using the birth control pill as well as a condom will provide extra protection against pregnancy AND STDs.
Need more information? Have a question? Leave a comment below and we'll make sure to answer you!
This next entry was written by a student who knows what its like to be in our area in our time. I thank her for her honesty and insight!
PRESSURE.
The dictionary definition of pressure is "the burden of physical or mental distress". Well I don’t know about you, but I've never been one for proper definitions. Pressure to me, is being forced or persuaded to do something that you aren't really comfortable doing. Pressure is every where you turn, at school, on tv, everywhere. Pressure to have sex, do drugs, smoke, pretty much everything your parents are against. You really can't escape it, unless you live under a rock! I would like to tell you it gets better as you get older, but I'd be lying. If anything it gets worse, which probably isn't what you want to hear. And although you may not be able to escape pressure there are ways you can over come it.
First of all, if you aren't comfortable with it or if you know in your gut it's wrong, then for the sake of your emotions, don’t do it. Now I know it's easier said then done to just say " not me, not now", which is kind of cheesy if you ask me, but if you put up a front and really stand up for yourself, people will know you are serious and RESPECT you for it. Especially in high school and middle school, you get pressured to have sex, look sexy or a certain way and lets face it we are teenagers, we get curious oh and there are the hormones! But the saying ' curiosity killed the cat' was said for a good reason. For instance, your boyfriend, or your friends will be telling you about their 'first time' or about their sex life, and if you are a virgin you have no idea what they are talking about or you feel like the odd one out because you may be the only virgin at the party, which is understandable. But the thing is, you lose more than your virginity when you have sex at our age.Bottom line, it’s not worth it. Regardless of the pressure we feel. You lose your innocence, your youth and more and more these days you lose your high school education because you have to drop out because you just had your baby two weeks before prom. Yes, sex is a great thing and it feels good but sex is something that can change everything. People have sex when they really love and care about someone and share a deep connection with. Eventually you will find a good guy or girl in high school and you think they are your soul mate and all that, then you probably say and think all those things, but you are in HIGH SCHOOL, you have your whole life ahead of you to meet someone and fall in love and all that. I guarantee that the person you are with now, you most likely won't be with that person in a year and a half from now. So why give up something so precious and meaningful just because he says he loves you and he is hot? Virginity is something you will NEVER get back, it's not like a pair of pants that are too small and you can just return them. Life doesn't work that way. Your first time should be the way you have always dreamed of. If you have to ask yourself if you are ready, then you probably aren't. Don’t rush, you will know when you are ready to take that huge step in your life. If you want to avoid all these pressure problems, just try to avoid those situations or talk to your partner about sex and how you feel about it. If they can't respect that then rethink the relationship because trusting yourself sticking to your goals and being a healthy teen is what is most important.
You are in control of your life, and you have every right to say no. Never forget that. I'm not supporting teenage sex or abstinence, I’m supporting whatever you think is right for you, and you are the only one who will know when or if it's time.
Hey guys! My name is Angela Galasso and I'm the other Sexual Health Educator for the North Country Prenatal Perinatal Council. I'm pretty familiar with the area as I went to school at Beaver River Central (Yeah, that's a K-12 building. Talk about small!) and then went on to college in Potsdam. I couldn't really figure out what I wanted to do when I started, which I think everyone goes through at some point, so I took a mixture of Psychology classes along with Health classes. Guess which one I liked more? I ended up graduating with a...*BIG INHALE*... Bachelor's of Science degree in Community Health with a minor in Psychology and a concentration in Adolescent Health.
In previous jobs, I've been an ice cream server, a lifeguard, taught swim lessons, and worked on Fort Drum with kids. In all of my jobs, I've worked with youth either directly or indirectly. I think this was one of the main contributing factors to why I love my job. Another reason why I do this job is because it seems like no matter how much information I have, youth are always teaching me something new. Part of my personality is that I tend to be a "fixer". If I hear of a problem or issue, I tend to do anything that I can to fix it, even though it's not always possible. Just being able to lend an ear or some advice is rewarding to me. I might not be able to fix people's issues or they way that they think, but if I can affect someone's life and their health in a positive way, then I'm doing my job right!
Other than my job, my interests include singing whenever possible, eating Italian food (or just, all food...), and just trying to make myself a healthier me. I look forward to what's ahead and hope that I can assist you in any way that I can!
Hey Guys!! My name is Cari McAvoy and I'd like to introduce myself as one of the new Sexual Health Educators here at NCPPC!
I hope that I can be a huge resource for you with any needs, questions or concerns on lots of different topics! HIV/AIDS, STD's, Pre-conception, Contraceptives and more. Hopefully I will have some answers for you or at least be able to guide you down a path to your answer.
So a little about me!
I am a mom to a beautiful baby girl. I am from the north and south, growing up in Georgia and Northern New York has given me a taste for New York style pizza with a side of Sweet Tea and Grits! (Well I wouldn't actually eat them together but you get the idea).
I graduated from Carthage High school went on to get an associate's degree from Herkimer County Community College and a bachelors from Ithaca College and even got to spend my last semester of Ithaca in Los Angeles, an amazing experience.
So out of College I was able to work with educating youth about STD's and HIV/AIDS through an organization called AIDS Community Resource and as I moved on in my career I had the opportunity to work in community education and outreach for WPBS TV, where I was the producer of Whiz Quiz, a high school quiz show. And now I am very proud to be part of the team here at the North Country Prenatal Perinatal Council!
Other than that some fun facts about me are:
I love Mexican food, I have 2 animals named after Star Wars Characters, I am a pop culture nerd- no one ever wants to play me in trivial pursuit- and I can't get enough of the heat so let's bring on the summer!
I also can't get enough good conversation! So I can't wait to meet and chat with you guys!
Ever been in a relationship? They can be crazy. If you’re in one now, you probably have tons of questions. Am I happy? Does he/she really like me? What happens if we break up? If you’re not in a relationship, you probably have millions more! Am I ever going to find that perfect someone? Will they love me back? How come everyone else is dating?
Make sure your relationship is healthy – both of you are happy and your relationship needs are being met. Should be easy! Not so much! Relationships are hard work. They take a lot of time and energy!
Hey everyone and welcome to NCPPC’s TeenStuff. We are so glad you stopped by to check us out! Over the next few months, we will be adding to and updating our website to bring you the latest information on teen issues, including adolescent pregnancy prevention.
Take a look at TeenStuff and let us know what you think. We look forward to hearing from you regarding topics that are important to you.
I ended up graduating with a...*BIG INHALE*... Bachelor's of Science degree in Community Health with a minor in Psychology and a concentration in Adolescent Health.
